Stressed or worried?

I am sitting here with a massive migraine headache and depressed to the maximum at the same time. I took my medication for my migraine, but the other residents are getting extremely loud over the basketball game. Meanwhile my head keep throbbing.

Maybe I wouldn’t be so depressed if I went out more, but that requires more money than I have at the moment. Yes, I have commissions coming in but that isn’t until next week and I have to save money for me to potentially travel back to Virginia, if they approve my probation being transferred from Colorado.

It would also help with the stress level if I could get out of this shelter permanently. I have been presented with options if Virginia says no. I have talked to my boyfriend, which picks up my mood, however; I still have the homophobic residents here. I have to be leery of them, because they really hate gays. I have felt really insecure these last couple of weeks. With seven days left for Virginia to make their decision, I am a little more on edge these days.

Maybe I should be used to the depression, I was depressed most of my childhood. This is different. Sometimes there feels like I don’t have a purpose any more. I don’t know if this is because I am aging or the fact that I have been hospitalized five times this year, once for covid and I still struggle with the lingering side effects.

I have had to cancel three appointments with my mental health provider because of the delays. All of my doctors are in Virginia. I can’t travel back every time I have…