My teddy bears brother, Steve

Yesterday my teddy bears brother came to visit. His name is Steve and I wished he had stayed home. First we had six inches of snow on the ground from a late winter storm. Steve’s behavior was off the rails, I thought Jake was bad, but he is tame compared to Steve. Steve tried to take Jake on a car ride in the snow but Jake refused. Steve took off in the company car at about forty miles an hour and crashed the car into a semi truck across the street. Needless to say the company car is totaled. But this was only the beginning,

After Steve wrecked the company car, he took off running inside the building and didn’t present his identification card at the check in counter. He ran past the security guard and into the cafeteria. He tried the breakfast and threw it across the dining hall. He ran behind the serving counter and grabbed a butcher knife and started chasing the cook around the cafeteria for preparing shitty food. They managed to get the butcher knife from Steve and he blew numerous raspberries at the staff and made arm pit farts and took off running again. This time he grabbed paring knives and started throwing them at the kitchen staff. He sliced my arm with a paring knife which required twenty- five stitches to close.

Steve then pulled a gun from somewhere and started shooting. He missed Jake and myself. He missed pretty much everything because the gun jammed and he couldn’t fix it. After an hour of chaos which included him drinking two pints of vodka, we were finally able to lasso Steve and hold him for police. When the police…