I can understand not wanting to come out. I stayed in the proverbial closet until I was 58. I didn't come out to my family privately, I did so when I published a book. At the age of 14, I was caught in bed with a very gorgeous boy in my neighborhood. My father and stepmother kicked me out of the house and put me into a camping trailer 200 yards from the house and I was banned from the family home. I was ex-communicated from my church as well, then sent to live with my elderly grandmother during the next school year. Then I was put back into the camping trailer. I do understand losing everything because I lost everything except my boyfriends.

https://lawrenceedwardhinchee.medium.com/i-dont-hide-in-the-closet-any-more-d58a741ec5c2